Colpocleisis – ‘Fallopian Fallout’ album review

Band: Colpocleisis
Album: Fallopian Fallout
Release Date: 22nd September, 2017
Label: Inherited Suffering Records



Review by John

If ever there was a release that takes no prisoners while simultaneously giving no fucks then ‘Fallopian Fallout’, the debut from brutal Scouse supergroup Colpocleisis (please do Google it, but please don’t Google it in work) is very much it.

Featuring titles such as ‘Dead Prostitute In The Entry’, ‘Back, Crack and Spack’ and ‘Spasticated Facial Chiropody Encounterment’, it’s clear that this is not something that is going to appeal to anyone other than fans of the uniquely heavy genre known as Slam (or, in this case, the even more unique ‘Caveman Slam’. But dig beneath the surface and there is a lot to enjoy.

Musically it’s heavier than a Hutt family reunion and about as subtle as Donald Trump’s twitter feed as filthy guitars blend with ominous drums to create a foreboding backdrop to the vocal stylings of frontman Marc Mullin. Imagine the Cookie Monster suffering an extremely nasty bout of Delhi Belly while gargling razor blades and you’re somewhere not a million miles away from Mullin’s deathly growl.
There are a couple of special guest vocal appearances thrown in for good measure, including Oncology’s Geoff Bradley (on the deliciously twisted ‘Murderous Aspirations Of Throne Transcendence’) and Rene Bartholout of Slamentation (‘Slamhouse Of Horror’) which bring a bit of variety to proceedings.

What’s also striking is the albums interesting ability to have you grinning like an idiot one minute (check out ‘Brokecrack Pounding’, the subject matter of which becomes clear during the utterly hilarious intro and outro samples which will be instantly recognisable to anyone of a certain age, and possibly either destroy a few childhood memories or, equally plausibly, cement a long held suspicion), and then leave you feeling physically ill the next (such as the frankly disturbing news report used as the introduction to ‘Singed Foetal Innards’).

‘Fallopian Fallout’ isn’t an album that is going to win over any new disciples to the Church of Slam.  But if you’re already well versed in the genre then you’ll know what to expect and find plenty to enjoy. And if you don’t appreciate the ‘Brokecrack Pounding’ samples then there really is no hope for you!

With 9 tracks of full on, no holds barred extreme metal brutality, it’s safe to say that ‘Fallopian Fallout’ has been released deliberately to target the Christmas market, and millions of grandmothers up and down the country will no doubt be waking up to find it in their stockings come December. Because, as we all know, Grans love Slam.






Track Listing:
1. Back, Crack and Spack
2. Spasticated Facial Chiropody Encounterment
3. Fallopian Fallout
4. Murderous Aspirations Of Throne Transcendence
5. Brokecrack Pounding
6. Slamhouse Of Horror
7. Dead Prostitute In The Entry
.8 Singed Foetal Innards
9. Slam Fuelled Leviathan


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